Let’s Talk About It: Finding Your Team

We are celebrating Plus Size Riders as our July Featured Riders of the Month on YourDressage!

Read Mikala’s encouraging advice, as a plus size rider, about owning who you are, communicating your needs, building your team, and finding your confidence along the way.

By Mikala Wodarek

As plus sized riders, we’ve likely all been there at some point. 

Placing out of the ribbons after the ride of your life with no critique, tailoring a men’s suit coat from Goodwill because no show coats are offered on the “off the rack” market, scowls and snickers in passing when you accidentally breathed just a little too hard during the posting trot in your lesson, obsessively checking every detail of your saddle fit/horse conditioning/your own balance and seat, so your weight does not cause harm to your precious equine partners: the list goes on! Most of us have spent the majority of our lives trying to shrink ourselves (literally and figuratively) into a world that is not inherently made for us to fit into – but no more of that! 

No more shrinking, silence, or giving up along the way. Talking about weight and other diversities can be uncomfortable, but we deserve to take up space too, and normalizing these conversations is necessary for growth, awareness, acceptance, and change. We weren’t born to be subtle; we are here to shatter some stereotypes. 

Let’s talk about it.

I joined the dressage community in 2020, after a break from riding due to recovering from a TBI sustained in a jumping accident. Prior, my background was in the hunt seat equitation and jumper disciplines. Coming from the hunt seat equitation world, I had become accustomed to the comments from trainers “you’d be such a great rider if you lost 50 lbs”, “how do you find a saddle that you fit into?”, and more. Starting from a young age, many plus sized riders learn that they either work that much harder than everyone else and allow as few faults as possible, or we are pushed aside. 

One thing that has blown me away the most about the incredible sport of dressage (and the people in the community), is how accepting and supportive everyone is. I will never forget my first dressage show in 2021. Every volunteer, competitor, trainer, delegate, and judge treated me with the utmost respect and truly as an equal to my peers. After that experience, I knew I had found my people and my happy place. We were hooked and have never looked back!

I learned early in my dressage journey something that I hold on to every day and lean on frequently, and it is something that every rider – no matter your background or situation – can benefit from. Advocate for yourself and find your team.

My first step was to find a coach. During this search, I made it clear that I was plus sized and tend to have low confidence. That I require an inclusive atmosphere, and more encouragement and support than your average student. I was lucky beyond belief to have been taken on by Heather Salden and the Salden Training team. These individuals continue to change my life with every interaction, and I genuinely feel like the luckiest person to be surrounded by a coach and fellow riders that hype me up when I am discouraged, offer advice when I am lost, support when I need it most, and accept me exactly as I am. 

Oftentimes my lessons incorporate specific challenges and insecurities that I face as a plus sized rider (hello sitting trot…if you know, you know!), and it is crucial to have an inclusive trainer that can help you through those challenges, instead of meeting you with shame or snide comments. I encourage you, reader, to be honest about your needs, communicate them clearly, and do not stop until you find the perfect fit.

One of the most unexpected challenges that I have faced along my journey so far, is likely the thing that ended up lighting the fire within me the most. I had saved up for a custom dressage saddle – my mare Trudy is a tough fit, and frankly so am I. I knew the custom route was necessary for us due to my size and her fit needs. I contacted a saddle brand that I had ridden in since childhood and thought would be a good fit for my horse and my body. I picked out a few models that I was interested in, and reached out to the company, as well as the local brand rep/fitter. The company promptly responded telling me that they “would not” make the selected models in my size. To say this was shocking coming from a ‘custom’ saddle operation is an understatement! After all, I was merely asking for an extra half inch (18.5” seat), which is far from abnormal in the world of saddles. Additionally, they would not offer any flap modifications to accommodate a rounder (larger) thigh (me grasping/begging to find a saddle to fit me). At that moment I thought to myself: this is a prime example of what is wrong with the industry and why so many plus sized riders give up on their dreams. Being treated as less than; shrugged off as if your dollars aren’t as good as someone with smaller measurements. 

Luckily, I had a moment of strength, and this experience sparked the hunt for a truly inclusive saddle brand and saddle fitters. That brought me to the amazingly talented and supportive folks at County Saddlery, and Safe & Sound Saddle Fit. I was very up front about my needs, and they didn’t bat an eye. Trudy and I have been enjoying our custom County Epiphany saddle ever since. This experience taught me a few things – if you can, put your dollars into the inclusive companies that are out there doing good work and serving ALL equestrians without bias, and above all else, advocate for yourself and your needs. Be the change, don’t put up with poor treatment of yourself or your fellow equestrians, and show these non-inclusive companies that we are just as worthy as our peers, and we are not going anywhere.

The same principles apply to finding the other members of your support system – an inclusive boarding barn environment, encouraging riding buddies, farriers, vets, and bodyworkers that are fair and honest with you, and everyone else that you bring along with you and lean on throughout your journey. Of course, it cannot be sunshine and rainbows all the time, but the right people by your side sure make all the difference.

Though I am still at the beginning stages of my dressage journey, the effect it has had on me is immense, in the very best way. Dressage has taught me pure joy and happiness, self-worth in the saddle, the ability to be vulnerable yet strong and honest about my feelings and needs, and thanks to Trudy and I’s irreplaceable support system, I am finding confidence along the way.

If I leave you with something, let it be this: Dressage is for every body. Take the time to find the right people to have on your team. They are out there, and you are worth it. Read that again: you are worth it. For those of you that have yet to find those people or when you find yourself in times of self-doubt – remember, you’ll always have a cheerleader and her sassy red mare cheering you on from Region 4.

Mikala Wodarek is a rider from the Fargo, North Dakota area that competes with her 16-year-old Appaloosa mare, Trudy. They are working towards achieving their USDF Bronze Medal.

Photo by Laura Schweigert Photography