Sight Unseen

We are celebrating Plus Size Riders as our July Featured Riders of the Month on YourDressage!

Here, a plus size rider based in the UK shares the story of her pandemic purchase, and how he has become the center of her world, as well as her problem-solving ingenuity that led to the creation of The Wide Boot Company – a company that caters exclusively to those whose sizes measure outside of mainstream companies off-the-rack sizing.

By Bex Hayward

Four years ago I had the bright idea of putting my semi-retired ex-racehorse into foal, and I had intended to find a share horse for me to ride until the foal was old enough to start. However my plan went somewhat awry for a few reasons; the first one being that Covid hit in early 2020. 

Thankfully, I was still able to have my mare inseminated by AI to a lovely PRE (Andalusian) stallion as planned. As lockdown dragged on and on in a depressing manner, I was mentally struggling. 

Contending with the issues of navigating my very new business, The Wide Boot Company, through a worldwide manufacturing shut down just as my first ever order had gone into production was not fun, and I was also having to work from home in another part time accounts position to keep myself afloat financially. I had just won a design award from the British Equestrian Trade Association before lockdown, and had a lot of interest from wholesalers so went from a massive high to a sudden low.

The jealousy that arose from seeing friends who were receiving government furlough payments got the better of me. I wanted to be like them, and be able to go and hack out for hours on quiet car-free roads, and have spare time to mess around at home playing ponies. But I had nothing to ride, and I realised that not riding for at least four years whilst waiting for my foal to be born and subsequently mature was unrealistic.

The other issue I was up against was the horse market had gone crazy – horses were selling for three or four times the price they had been before lockdown. And I was worried about being judged for my size if I went horse shopping – the last time I bought a horse was eleven years ago, when I was slimmer, and rider weight wasn’t such a hot topic.

Trying to find a horse to share or loan was also an uneasy prospect – most owners had very stringent weight limits, and it was hard to find a horse of the type I liked in my area. I was unwilling to pay towards sharing and schooling up a green and unfit horse, only for the owner to sell the horse out from under me as soon as it was in a decent ridden routine again (yes, this has happened multiple times in my youth!). 

After I was lucky enough to get some unexpected money, I decided I would look for another ridden horse of my own to buy, and started ploughing through the adverts and unrealistic prices. There wasn’t much in my budget but I found a beautiful PRE gelding for sale a few hours away, a little older than I wanted, but low mileage so I went to try him and fell in love. He failed the vetting badly on hock issues and I cried on the phone to the vet when she rang to tell me.

I soon gave up looking in the UK; it was clear my budget wasn’t going to allow me to buy anything unless it had an issue of some sort. By chance, I saw an advert on social media that a friend had shared for a trainer she knew in Spain, who was downsizing his yard and had several horses for sale. We had a few other mutual friends so I did some research, and everyone concurred that he was a genuine seller, very experienced, and had a good reputation.

I wanted a mare ideally, and I didn’t really want a grey as I have very limited facilities for keeping one clean; my horses live out all the time in a muddy field and I worried about melanomas. Of course, I ended up discussing a grey gelding he had! Something about him struck me, and I just had a good gut feeling about him. I mentioned that I was of a muscular build and therefore quite heavy, but his breeder Philip Belhoussine was confident that he would be fine carrying me and, at seven years old, he was a nice age too. As I have no arena at home, I didn’t want a complete baby.

And so, after many videos, a vet report and x-rays, which my vets here checked over for me, I made a decision I never thought I would ever make – as I am quite a control freak usually – I bought and imported a horse completely unseen! Due to lockdown rules it was impossible to go and try him, so it was that or lose out due to the fast market. My heart just said yes. A buyer in the USA had pulled out at the last minute so I was able to get him for a very fair price, for which I am forever indebted to Philip.

So the rest is history really – Euphorbio arrived after a three day journey and, whilst we had a few teething issues initially (as he found the move from his lifetime home in Spain understandably stressful), he settled over time, bonded with the herd, and we found a lovely connection between each other. He is so fun, sweet, cheeky, and highly intelligent, as well as a bit of a worrier. His nickname is Elf as that sums up his playful nature. We have online lessons with Philip using a Pivo, and to maintain a close relationship from afar, which is lovely – and his tuition is amazing, so I’m lucky.

Elf didn’t have much competition experience and this is always an area that I find difficult, especially after quite a break from competing. I mainly do dressage, and obviously do not fit the stereotypical slim, tall physique. I have constant wobbles about getting out there – about people judging me, mainly for my size. I’m a relatively competent rider but I do feel I have, on occasion, been marked down in the ring for not having ‘the look’. We compete at Medium level (equivalent to USA Third Level), and are starting to learn changes, although tension can be an issue.

I go through ups and downs, mentally, with competing but always have another bash at getting out there again, even if we have a bad patch, or experience a less-than-encouraging judge and I retreat licking my metaphorical wounds for a few months, before bouncing back. I am very stubborn, which helps! I really enjoy clinics and lessons, so it’s not all about competing for us, and often I can’t afford to compete anyway.

Being able to wear my own brand of boots and jackets makes me proud and, because I am comfortable, it makes a huge difference to how I can ride through my nerves. I designed everything to have stretch and adjustability so that it is comfortable and gives with movement, so I can concentrate on remembering my test, not pulling my zips up or jacket down! The boots especially have been a labour of love, and sizing is based on customer questionnaire feedback from my followers who don’t fit into the mainstream brands. I only ever intended to have one or two styles, but now even offer custom colours, and various heights and widths!

I find much of my size is due to bloating, which can be stress related. Knowing my clothing and footwear has a bit of give where needed helps. I find competing stressful, which triggers my digestive issues and doesn’t help! Some of my customers are very muscular; sometimes, like myself, this is due to cycling or gym work in the past, or taking part in other sports that bulk you up. I also have a large bust! My doctor said I had the lowest blood sugar level she had ever seen, so I do find it difficult when people assume I am heavy because I eat badly. Sometimes I think some judges and spectators would do well to think about this – you don’t know the battle someone has been through to get in the ring today and a kind smile costs nothing! 

I have a YouTube vlog, Bex WBC, where I document the ups and downs of our training and competitions, bringing on my now-two-year-old filly, and I do various product and day out reviews – there are not many larger riders willing to put themselves out there, especially of the forty plus demographic, and I think people enjoy seeing the Working Equitation and traditional Spanish showing too, as it’s a bit different. Our proudest moment I recently vlogged about was taking Elf to Royal Windsor International Horse Show not long after King Charles III was coronated, and riding in our traditional Doma Vaquera outfit in the back garden of Windsor Castle! Elf was such a good boy. I am off to Golega, Portugal in November for a once-in-a-lifetime holiday riding in the horse festival there! My health and spinal issues are increasingly up and down, so I decided to do it this year before I can’t!

It can be hard, as the equestrian world is very much geared toward slimmer riders, and there is a lot of online trolling and bullying. Obviously there is a line to be drawn in the sand regarding weight and horse size for welfare issues, and everyone should be realistic with what they expect of their horse, but it’s so subjective and there is no easy answer. I am always hyper vigilant about tack fit, horse fitness, and generally how my horse feels, and I probably don’t push us as much as I could do, but I want Euphorbio to be with me for a long time! It’s very easy to point fingers from behind a keyboard or whisper behind the railside, and large people are an easy target, but very few larger riders are uncaring or unaware of the issue, and most are constantly trying to deal with their weight but may have genetic or medical reasons as to why they find it harder to lose. I hope that my company and vlogs give some people who fall outside the ‘industry standard’ the inspiration to not give up their dreams!