Two Local SLADS Members Try Something Unique
This article received an honorable mention in the 2023 GMO Newsletter Awards for first person experience articles for GMOs with 75-174 members. It appeared in the October 2022 St. Louis Area Dressage Society newsletter, Hoofprints.
By Laura Vandiver & Mary Beth Malen
Mary Beth Malen and Laura Vandiver think back fondly on their 30-plus-year friendship. They rode together in their formative years and trained at the same barn, always with a focus on dressage.
Over the years they have stayed in touch through college, marriages, and the birth of their kids. Their mares, Nutmeg and Pracht, both passed around the same time between 2011-2012. Life got busy and riding got put on the back burner. Fast forward to late 2021. Laura’s mom gifted her riding lessons for her birthday (after a decade-long hiatus from riding), knowing how much she always loved riding as a young adult. Around the same time, Mary Beth was also riding whenever she could, visiting different barns around the area in search of dressage horses to ride. Both soon discovered that if you want to ride dressage, you’re pretty much out of luck unless you have your own horse.
Also in late 2021, an old riding friend, Solange Deschatres, purchased a beautiful half-Friesian, half-Arab cross named Kiss. She knew Mary Beth was in the market for a horse and was casually looking around. In February, Solange sent Mary Beth a Facebook message: a half-sister of Kiss (they have the same Friesian sire, Loki) was up for sale in Virginia. For a STEAL of a price. Mary Beth jumped at the opportunity and contacted the owner. After several long conversations and consultations with Laura and other riding friends, Mary Beth bought Ellie, a half-Friesian, half-Arab cross…sight unseen… off the internet. By early March, Mary Beth and her husband Drew made the trek to Virginia to pick up Ellie. It was love at first sight! “It was the best, craziest decision I’ve ever made,” said Mary Beth. “With Laura’s encouragement, it all worked out really well!”
Once back in St. Louis, Mary Beth and Laura decided to do something a bit unconventional: they would share Ellie. Mary Beth technically owns her, but they would share board costs, training, and tack purchases. Both women are moms, and work full-time in very demanding careers. It’s difficult enough to find the time to take care of a horse, but even more so with these competing priorities. But both wanted the very best for Ellie, so their unique arrangement is the best of both worlds. “I love grooming and making Ellie gorgeous, so I usually get to the barn a bit early and clean her up and get her tacked up. When Mary Beth arrives, we switch off who will get Ellie warmed up and who will ride first. We also take lessons once per week, together, with our trainer Lindsey Culver at Catlin Farm Dressage,” said Laura. “It’s funny to us when people ask how we share her and if we ever feel jealous about Ellie liking one of us more than the other. The thought has never crossed my mind. We both just want the same for Ellie, and that’s the best possible life,” she said. Mary Beth agrees. “Together, we’re able to do much more and utilize our time really efficiently. That’s important since we’re both so busy. And if for some reason I can’t make it out to the barn, I know Laura can take care of her for me, and vice versa. It’s really all based on our friendship and our trust. And, of course, our mutual love of Ellie!”
Their shared background and philosophies about training dressage horses also make this a great match. “We both share a very similar vision for how we want to ride and train Ellie, so I never have to worry that. Laura and I trust each other and help each other be better riders for Ellie. In the end, we’re lifting each other up and making each other better,” she says. Both Mary Beth and Laura also share an interest in riding biomechanics, and work on this regularly with their trainer. They will also participate in some upcoming clinics to further refine their skills.
So, what’s next for this trio? “We’re hoping to get to some schooling shows in the spring,” said Laura. “We’re going to work really hard this winter and get Ellie more conditioned to new environments.” Mary Beth adds, “Yes, and we’re looking to work on our USDF bronze medals as well. That’s our goal before we both turn 50!”
