A Chestnut Mare For Confidence

We are celebrating Plus Size Riders throughout the month of July on YourDressage! With that celebration, we have partnered with SmartPak to offer three awesome prizes for the readers and writers of Plus Size Riders Month. Learn how to enter here!

In this story, an adult amateur shares the story of regaining her own confidence at a barn where horsemanship matters most, and her relationship with her Oldenburg mare has resulted in them thriving together.  

By Lily Kovach

My name is Lily, and I am a 28-year-old adult amateur rider who predominantly does dressage. I started riding when I was about five years old, but I never really thought that dressage would be the discipline that I ended up in. I always competed in the world of eventing, and never in a million years would I have thought that dressage would become my passion. I always thought of dressage riders as tall and thin, and I did not think I would “fit in” with the crowd. I also work in healthcare, which makes me extra self-conscious about my weight, and I have often felt bad about the way I look. 

I have always struggled with body image, especially in the equestrian world. But at one point, my body dysmorphia began to consume my life. I was especially discouraged when purchasing equipment at your typical “brick-and-mortar”  tack store; I could never find boots that would fit my calf size, or a show jacket that was not too tight over my chest. I felt ostracized, always surrounded by more petitely built riders at competitions and in the magazines. I never really saw people who I felt looked like me. 

My journey with dressage really started after losing my eventing partner at the start of the pandemic. I was devastated but couldn’t live without horses in my life. By fate, I met Quintessa, who, at the time, was an unbroke, feral three-year-old Oldenburg mare by Qredit. Now, she is seven years old, and I feel so blessed to have made her my partner. 

I am proud to admit that, yes, I am now one of those crazy chestnut mare lovers. 

I felt like Quintessa was a great match for me because I knew she would grow up to be a strong, big-boned type who could support me as a rider. While eventing didn’t work out for us, she was bred for dressage, and I thought maybe this was my sign from the world to give it a shot. 

We didn’t initially click, and I often doubted my ability as a rider. I would have intrusive thoughts that I wasn’t good enough for her, and that maybe my body wasn’t cut out for this sport.

Unfortunately, due to a slew of ongoing health issues, I found myself gaining even more weight, and I was losing motivation to ride at all. It wasn’t until I moved Quintessa to a dressage-focused barn that I really got my passion back.

My new trainer built up my confidence and made me feel like my body doesn’t matter, as long as I’m riding correctly and promoting good horsemanship. While exercise is important, he taught me that the best way to improve your riding is just to get out there and ride! Neither my body image nor size were even topics of conversation – where so often in the past, they had been. For riders, building a strong foundation and having support from your barn family goes a long way. 

In addition to having a nurturing barn environment, having the accrediting bodies of your sport actively voicing their support is vital. When other plus-sized riders see that we are being included, we want to help promote the sport even more. I feel as though USDF has been actively working towards building inclusivity for all riders in the sport. By creating more awareness and educating the public, bigger riders can feel that we belong and have a strong sense of community. It puts a huge smile on my face to see these riders now featured in magazines. 

Not only did dressage help me build my own confidence, but it also helped me improve my relationship with Quintessa. Dressage is where she really shines. I would advise riders to really live in the moment, and enjoy their horses. 

Quintessa doesn’t care that I wear XL-size riding pants – she just wants her German horse muffins! Dressage also helped me recognize that you don’t have to compete in all the recognized shows – or win everything – to have a good time. I found that I felt more comfortable in my own skin, and was enjoying my horse more and more. I learned that great riders come in all different shapes and sizes. 

My confidence went beyond just riding, and I began feeling happier with my life in general. We have since been competing at a lot of local dressage schooling shows, earning scores in the mid-70s, and I have never felt happier. To me, that is the greatest accomplishment of all. 

We have goals of competing at USDF-recognized shows, and maybe working towards my USDF Rider Medals, but we are not in any rush. After all, being able to enjoy your horse and the sport is what matters – feeling included just makes it that much better.