From FOMO to SOLO: Redefining Success with a Young Horse

By Jen Macklin

“Don’t sit down and wait for the opportunities to come. Get up and make them.” 

– Madam C.J. Walker

While other dressage riders have their moment in the spotlight, whether at local schooling shows or the international stage, I’ve been busy redefining what success in dressage means to me. From a celebratory high five after a championship ride to fluttering ribbon sashes during victory laps, I’ve experienced it all…from the sidelines. For years, I’ve stood ringside, clapping for my friends while wondering, “Would my turn ever come?” Cheering for my friends is easy, but grappling with feeling left behind is harder.

I’ve dedicated my life to becoming an equestrian, seizing as many opportunities as possible through working student stints, leases, and catch riding, yet I have no tangible riding achievements. If a stranger in an equestrian setting initiates small talk and asks, “What’s your name, and where do you ride?”, I resist the urge to quote a character from Game of Thrones by responding, “A girl is no one.” 

Last year marked a turning point in my resolve. Sure, I didn’t have a horse to show, but what if there was another path? I had a choice: buy an FEI horse or make my own. Expecting someone to loan me a top-tier horse as an adult amateur is highly unrealistic, so T’Challa, the first horse I’ve ever purchased, entered my life as a foal with a built-in three-year waiting period. I have lofty goals for my partnership with this gorgeous, now two-year-old Dutch Warmblood, and I’m under no delusion about the myriad obstacles to reaching the Grand Prix. However, determined to maximize this circuitous journey, I started Seeking Out Learning Opportunities (SOLO) by researching ways to take part in dressage shows from a new perspective through in-hand classes. 

Prior to last year, I only knew about the infamous Sally B. Wheeler Hunter Breeding Championships and Dressage at Devon shows. Upon researching in-hand showing opportunities, I learned that multiple venues put on USDF Dressage Sport Horse Breeding classes, an advantageous option for a young horse to gain mileage in new environments. A planner by nature, I devised a strategy to attend events under three different organizations at multiple locations, USDF, KWPN-NA, and the Young Horse Show (YHS) series, in hopes of providing valuable exposure without overwhelming him. 

Preparing a green horse for the show environment is no small feat. I utilized various resources, including groundwork lessons with Dana Glass and USDF University’s published insights from Scott Hassler (From Field to FEI), two young horse development experts whose philosophies I respect. I also networked with experienced handlers and watched countless YouTube videos on in-hand shows and keuring protocols. One concept I learned was the in-hand half-halt (sans bridle) that applies handler body language and feel to manage the horse’s tempo and rhythm, and encourage an uphill tendency. I did my best to employ that newly gained knowledge by teaching T’Challa with fairness and consistency. 

As he loaded onto the trailer for the first show, programmed with my inexperienced in-hand techniques, I silently hoped he wouldn’t engage in too many shenanigans. Showing alone was difficult and lonelier than I expected. Holding the lead rope in one hand while scrubbing T’Challa’s white socks with the other, hand walking between classes, doing my own braiding, grooming, and mucking. I ugly cried at least once when I failed to convince my youngster why I needed to braid his forelock. At times, I felt overwhelmed and out of my depth, whispering to myself, “You’re doing all this and not even riding. What is wrong with you?”

Despite moments of stress and self-doubt, something incredible happened. Spending extended amounts of time with him, leading up to show season and at shows, strengthened our bond, and he looked to me for comfort and stability. Once he got the hang of in-hand classes, T’Challa eagerly marched toward the ring to show off his brilliant gaits. I was a proud mom, mostly watching from the sidelines, but also occasionally cosplaying as a handler. As he rounded the triangle with his ground-covering trot, I saw him look for me and relax visibly when we made eye contact. 

I was earning something more than ribbons: a horse who trusted me, and a skillset built with my own hands. And then, the ribbons came, one after another in blues, reds, and oranges (for KWPN), culminating in USDF Horse of the Year honors, KWPN-NA keuring tour Top Ten and Yearling Futurity wins, and the YHS Series Final champion, feats that weren’t even on my radar at the beginning of the season.

On reflection, I concluded this journey isn’t about ribbons, although I certainly didn’t turn them away. These experiences imparted greater resilience, problem-solving abilities, and confidence in my horsemanship. For me, success is not having a Grand Prix horse or an army of grooms; it’s about the willingness to keep pressing forward, no matter how difficult the path ahead appears. Dressage is for anyone willing to show up, do the work, and create their own opportunities.

I’m still waiting for my horse to grow up, but one day my friends will be standing ringside while I render a salute at X, not only to the judge but also to the journey that transformed me into the resourceful equestrian I am today. In the interim, I’ll continue to ride whatever horse I can, but instead of being an outsider at shows, I’ll make my way down to the triangle with my baby horse in tow. 

FOMO didn’t win. SOLO did.