It’s back!! All through the month of July, we are running our annual Dressage For Every Body campaign on #YourDressage, and we’re teaming up with our friends at SmartPak again to offer some incredible prizes for our readers and writers!
Each year that we’ve run this campaign, we’ve used it to highlight size inclusivity in dressage, and to give a voice to those who have felt like they don’t fit the stereotypical image of a rider. We’ve featured stories of resilience, courage, kindness, and confidence, and we want to continue to encourage and inspire riders of all sizes, because #EveryBodyIsADressageBody
We recently asked to hear from riders who consider themselves plus-size or were plus-size at one time for a chance to be featured in our Dressage For Every Body galleries or to share their story, and win some awesome prizes!
Here, a Region 2 rider shares the joy she found after a serious fall injury and medical diagnosis forced her to take a step back and give herself just a little bit of grace before returning to the show ring.
By Alexis Clugston
Tuney and I began our journey on May 21st, 2018, but the story really began two weeks before that, when my grandma spoke to my trainer of nine years and told her that she wanted to find a way to progress my riding. Her suggestion was to buy a horse.
Two weeks later, on May 21st, I met the first horse we thought suitable to look at. He was a cute, 14-year-old, 16.3-hand Belgian cross gelding named FHF Fein Tuned. He was so adorable and out of shape, but also amazing. Within ten minutes of riding him, the check was signed, and I officially owned my first horse – a dream young me had been waiting for since I first laid eyes on a horse.
Those happy dreams were crushed when, two weeks into owning Tuney, horse ownership gave me a stiff kick in the behind. He was lame – very lame. It wasn’t until July that we figured out Tuney has severe arthritis. With the help of my lovely vets, though, we were able to find the right combination of exercises, injections, and medications to help Tuney stay sound and comfortable.
At 14, we struggled with Training Level work. Now, at 21, Tuney is a distinguished Second Level horse with so much talent. Making the jump to Third Level is not an option, though, as there are just not enough injections to make Tuney comfortable.
Tuney and I have had our ups and downs over the years of our partnership; I was young, and he was spooky and mischievous. It was a match made in heaven!
Our first year together marked my first recognized dressage show. In August 2018, we decided to give showing a try. Our first show was the Indiana Dressage Festival, which will always be my favorite show to compete at. We didn’t win, but we did manage to qualify for the Great American/USDF Region 2 Dressage Championships – another first! It was an amazing learning experience that would start a never-ending wish to return each year! Along with being selected to participate in a USDF Youth Outreach Clinic, it was an incredible year.
My journey as a plus size rider in dressage began in November 2020. During a bareback ride around the barn, Tuney did his favorite spook move – galloping into a 180-degree turn. The fall, while accompanied by a crippling heap of pain, was no different than my million other unplanned dismounts. It was the day that followed that would prove that thought was wrong.
With a sore back and an appointment with the chiropractor, I got my spine adjusted. That evening, my back went from semi-sore to excruciating pain. I decided to go to bed to sleep it off, but when I got out of bed and tried to stand up the next morning, I collapsed. I had no feeling in my legs. It was the scariest day of my life.
After some discussion with my doctor, and an MRI, it was found that I had degenerative disc disease (DDD) – the same disease that my mother had. During the fall, I had slipped my disc more, but the chiropractic adjustment made it compress the nerves. For a full six months, I was not allowed to ride; all I could do was go to school, and sit or lay on the couch or my bed.
Between the stress, pain, and lack of movement, I gained 50 pounds. I was already not the skinniest or most typically pleasing rider to look at. At 5’5” and 180 pounds, I was built like a wall. Now, add 50 pounds to that, and I was a very round wall.
As a 16-year-old girl, the ideal of having a perfect figure was already implanted in my brain as the most important thing. Now compound the physique ideals of the horse world, and you get the perfect storm of hating your body. I felt inadequate, as if all I had worked so hard for was falling through my fingers. The pain made it hard to ride, but the comments about my weight made me never want to ride again.
In 2021, I returned to showing. Walking into the show ring, I wasn’t scared of how my riding would look. I was confident I could ride a beautiful test. But I was scared of how my body would be perceived by those around me. I went back to working at my barn that year, and by 2022, I had dropped 60 pounds. It wasn’t just the work; it was eating less so I could look the part and keep up with the others. I was riding 6-8 horses in a day. My muscles began to come back in full force. I felt strong, but I could never see myself as skinny. After a rough year and some personal issues, I quit to focus on bettering my riding and mental health. When I moved to a new barn and gained back all of the weight I had lost, I hit an all-time low.
Moving to the new barn gave me a different perspective, though. I had moved to a barn I like to call a “melting pot.” There were so many other disciplines! You could really see the differences in what we were all doing differently, but also the similarities. I found that my true failure as a rider wasn’t my weight; it was holding so tightly to every little thing. I could ride a beautiful test, but I couldn’t see any good in it.
I took some time off from showing and decided that I wanted to “find joy.” I spent two years working with my own horses, taking lessons, and just finding joy. Before we had moved, I had semi-retired Tuney. Instead of drilling the same exercises day in and day out, we spent our days riding bareback. We went on trail rides and did some fun work on changes, but it was always bareback. All I wanted was to have fun and enjoy my best friend’s company, just finding joy and having fun. It did help that I was part of a wonderful barn that supported me from the moment I walked through their doors, asking if they had an opening.
In 2024, I was asked if I would like to go to a show. I wanted to say yes, but all I could think of was, “Do I want people to see me like this? Am I even ready for this?” The doubt had started to creep back in.
Ultimately, I decided to go. It took some convincing for me to believe that I was a good enough rider, or even belonged in the ring, but going to that show changed a lot. It was beautiful. Yes, we won our Second Level classes, but it was so much more than that.
For the first time, I went into the ring, and all I wanted was to have fun. My new mantra rang in my head as we trudged into the ring: “Be a goldfish.” I didn’t care what anyone thought, I didn’t care if I didn’t have the most beautiful corners, none of that mattered. I was just happy we got through the movements. But the act of not caring allowed me to ride such a beautiful test that it didn’t matter what was happening in the stands or who was watching. It only mattered that I was here with Tuney. We qualified for regionals in those rides.
Our journey to that show, and our journey to regionals, was just as beautiful. We walked away from regionals with the most beautiful purple seventh-place ribbon in a large class of wonderful young riders.
When I started riding, I never expected my journey to be so up and down. I started riding because I loved horses, and I wanted to spend every waking second with them. As I grew up, though, I lost that. It took me getting injured and gaining weight to realize that there is so much more to riding than what I had begun to believe.
Learning to exist in a community set in tradition while being different can be daunting. There will always be work to be done. Starting first with breaking the cycle of belief that a larger woman the same weight as a tall man is too much for a horse who is built to carry the weight. We should absolutely follow the science, but when we follow the science, we must not forget that no person is built the same, and just because they look too heavy, doesn’t mean they are.
We are all in this sport to have fun, and to enjoy our horses and friends. There have been amazing changes to the sport, but we can always add just a little more fun and a lot less bashing. Plus size riders are, and can be, just as effective and capable as any other rider. Taking the time to accept who I was allowed me to accept the things I couldn’t control. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you can’t change a thing. My body still hurts every day, but it took courage to give change a shot in order to finally get more help.
Today, Tuney is enjoying his semi-retirement. He gets to enjoy his powdered doughnuts and the trail rides, and I get to enjoy being myself in my own body and my lovely horses. And that is a gift we all deserve to give ourselves.
