By Lara Gilman
It was Thursday, a day after chemotherapy; one I often spent most of my hours in bed. But, even when I wasn’t hungry or just wanted to sleep, riding was something I always found the power to do. I would work up the strength to get out of bed, get ready, and get in the car, and my husband or one of my two sons would drive me to the barn. They would help me get my horse ready so I could ride. Even on the most difficult days, getting to the barn made all the difference.
When I got back into riding nine years ago after a 25-year break, I didn’t know how important it would become in my life, especially during this time. Both riding itself and the community helped me through my treatment, one step at a time.
In January of 2024, I bought Impio Interagro, a then-twelve-year-old Lusitano gelding. I had been looking for an FEI-level horse for months after working my way from Introductory to Fourth Level, and earning my USDF Bronze Rider Medal. I wanted to find a partner to work toward my Silver and, hopefully, Gold Medals.
Impio is talented at piaffe, passage, and tempis, and had previously competed through Grand Prix with his Junior rider. He is also very personable – if sometimes a bit mouthy! Impio was a bit of a stretch horse for me, skill-wise. He can be hot, especially when the weather changes, but I felt that I would be able to learn to ride him, it would just take additional skill development, and a little bravery.
Impio arrived at the end of December. Just over a month after his arrival, I received news that changed my life: I had breast cancer.
A few weeks before my diagnosis, I had noticed some tenderness in my armpit. I was traveling, and was excited to have this new equine partner, so I didn’t think too much about it, especially since I had recently had a mammogram. But I made an appointment with my doctor to get it checked out in February, just in case.
My doctor sent me for an ultrasound of my lymph nodes, which was inconclusive. I was sent home with the recommendation to follow up in a few months. I was relieved and ready to move on, assuming that everything was fine. But my doctor, who had recently been treated for breast cancer herself, encouraged me to follow up with specialists at the University of California – San Francisco, which has one of the top cancer centers in the country. After a number of tests and biopsies, it was finally determined that I had breast cancer, and it had spread to my lymph nodes.
After my diagnosis, and I had received my treatment plan, the first question I asked both my breast surgeon and my oncologist was, “Can I ride?”. It became a familiar question for my doctors as I progressed through my treatment, because I was determined not to give up riding. I knew I would need it, both for my physical and mental health.
My active treatment lasted over a year. For the first six months, I was part of a drug trial, which aimed to shrink the tumor and lymph nodes using a drug that is less toxic than chemotherapy. The drugs threw me into menopause, and made my joints stiff after sitting for long periods. When I would arrive at the barn after driving thirty minutes, I’d feel one hundred years old for the first few minutes, but riding helped keep me limber, and I always felt better after. During this time, I got to know Impio and worked on the Prix St. Georges, showing several times and earning my Silver Medal.
The following seven months were more challenging; I had a lumpectomy and, although recovery went smoothly and the trial drug did have treatment effects, the final pathology showed remaining cancer in both my breast and lymph nodes. This meant that the strong recommendation was a five-month course of chemotherapy, including the drug known as the “red devil.” I was terrified, and repeatedly asked my oncologist if I could continue to ride, given all of the side effects. Her consistent answer was that I probably wouldn’t be able to ride every day, but she wanted me to ride as much as I could.
I also had a goal: to compete at the California Dressage Society (CDS) Annual Championship Show. The show is in Northern California every other year, and in 2025, it was going to be within reasonable driving distance. I wanted to be there with my barn family.
In order to get to the championship show, I had to qualify. On top of that, I wanted to compete at Intermediate II, a level completely new to me. And I would need to do it during chemotherapy, and then radiation.
Through it all, my trainers, the owners of the barn, and my fellow riders were an essential part of my journey. I wanted to feel as normal as possible, and my barn family let me do that. My trainer, Katy Barglow, followed my lead on how much I could do each lesson. She did, as she called it, “mother hen” a little to make sure I was not overdoing it. She would also remind me when I would get frustrated with my riding that I was just a few days out from chemotherapy. But she never told me that my riding goals were unrealistic. Andrea Adams, our other resident trainer, took over more of the riding on my five-year-old, big-moving gelding when I felt too tired to ride him. And at shows, my friends took over the chores, driving the trailer, and braiding my horse, letting me rest when I needed to.
Even with all of the support, it was not easy, particularly when showing in the winter, even if we do live in California. In January and March, I went to multi-day shows between my chemo treatments.
At the January show, we were blessed with nice weather and, although exhausting, I felt exhilarated that I could show. Unfortunately, March was a different story. It was cold, windy, and raining. I was getting toward the end of chemo, and the side effects, especially fatigue, were accumulating. I had signed up for seven rides on two different horses over three days. In retrospect, it seems absolutely crazy. I rode, handed off my horse to the brave groom we brought to help, and went back to bed. No part of me thought about quitting, though. Cancer wasn’t going to take this away from me.
I did qualify and compete at the Great American/USDF Region 7 Dressage Championships and concurrently run CDS Championships. And I rode Impio in honor rounds, as both the Great American/USDF Adult Amateur Intermediate II and CDS Intermediate II Horse of the Year Adult Amateur champion. As I cantered around the ring on him, with his neck ribbon fluttering triumphantly, all of the people who stood by my side through the long year of active cancer treatment were standing with me in this moment of celebration. And at that moment, that was all that mattered.
