Onward and Upward

By Dawn Briand

It all started at the end of December 2016, when I made a trip from Massachusetts to Pennsylvania to look at some horses. 

I went to Penn National Race Course, as my budget was that of an off-the-track Thoroughbred. My main criteria was that the horse be a gelding. A member of CANTER Pennsylvania was nice enough to show me around the track, and we visited all of the geldings that were available. We ended up looking at a whopping SEVENTEEN! There were two who I was very interested in, but I wanted to take the afternoon to mull them over. 

In the meantime, I found another Thoroughbred in Maryland, who had already been restarted and had a show record. My husband and I drove to Maryland to take a look and try him out. I liked him, but I wasn’t in love with him. The trainer that was showing him to us asked how I felt about mares. My response was, “I don’t.” I was not looking for a mare, but told her I would take a look anyway. 

Out of the stall came this cute, little, almost five-year-old bay mare. I watched her go and really wanted to sit on her, so I did. The rest is history. I bought myself a mare on New Year’s Day to ring in 2017.

Our first year together was nothing to write home about. I spent a lot of time getting used to her and trying to expose her to different things. She was not an easy horse by any means, and she could be rather explosive at times. It got to the point that I was not sure if I had made the right decision in buying her, and I contemplated selling her on more than one occasion. 

The following year, we ventured out to take lessons and try to figure each other out. I knew she had potential, and I was determined to try every last thing to become a team. I participated in a few clinics with professionals who basically told me that I was over-horsed, and they asked me if I really wanted to deal with a horse like her. Needless to say, I felt defeated. 

Then, I met the person who would go on to help me with her and really give me the confidence I needed. After spending a month riding with him, we had accomplished things I never thought I would be able to do with her. We had jumped a full showjumping course, and schooled cross country fences with no issues. I was on cloud nine and fully ready to see where we could go together.

We spent the rest of that year doing a few small schooling shows and having fun. I started taking lessons with the resident trainer at the barn where I was boarding, and we were getting some good results. Granted, Teagan still had her moments, and I started to feel like things were falling apart again. 

In August of that year (2018), my equine chiropractor came out to do some routine bodywork. I was not able to be there due to work, and she called me to ask if I had noticed anything with Teagan’s left eye. I told her no, at which point she told me to have my veterinarian out ASAP. In a panic, I called the vet and left work to meet them. After an evaluation, my vet told me that this looked like possible uveitis and that an ophthalmologist should evaluate her as soon as possible. We made the trip up to New England Equine in New Hampshire to meet with a highly recommended ophthalmologist. Unfortunately, my fears were confirmed: it was uveitis. 

A treatment plan was made. We were making good progress and had positive follow-up appointments. After treating her eye with steroids, the ophthalmologist felt we were ready to take her off the steroid ointment and change to a new medication. Not even two days after starting the new medication, things went downhill fast; Teagan had a bad reaction, causing her eye to become extremely painful. I was devastated but determined to do anything that I could to help her. After a few procedures and a weeklong stay at the vet, we had a new plan. Things were looking up, so we kept moving forward with riding and trying to set some new goals. 

It was now 2019, and by far the best year we had had to this point. Her flatwork was coming along, and her jumping was getting better and better. We went to several schooling shows to gain some experience and have some fun together. When we started the show season, we started very small, and my goal was to move up to Beginner Novice at the end of the season – and we did! Things were all starting to come together, and then they came crashing down again. 

The day after we did our first Beginner Novice, my husband and I were leaving for a week-long out of state vacation. We were almost to our destination, when I received a text from the barn owner saying Teagan had hurt herself in the paddock. When I received the photo of her injury, my stomach dropped. She had a puncture wound to her left fetlock joint. I called my vet right away, and she went out to check on Teagan. It was confirmed to be a joint-involved puncture, and Teagan needed to go to Tufts University for surgery. After 13 days, two limb perfusions, and a boatload of antibiotics, I was able to bring Teagan home and begin her lengthy rehabilitation. 

We moved to a new barn that was better equipped for rehab and spent the early part of the winter hand-walking. It was the end of December before I could finally get back on and begin tack walking. I was very nervous the first time, as I was not sure how she would be after not doing anything for a couple of months. Much to my pleasant surprise, she was perfectly behaved for our tack walks. I am sad to say, though, that the day we were allowed to trot for two minutes, I did not last eight seconds. Still, as she galloped away, she was perfectly sound. 

Fast forward to 2020, we were still slowly getting back into work, and Teagan was a handful. We started taking lessons again and, as the year went on, I was losing my confidence. Teagan was stopping at jumps and I was afraid. It takes a lot to admit when you have hit the point of fear, but I knew I was there. 

I made the decision to put her in training for a month, and I rode her twice a week. I watched my trainer work through some of Teagan’s tantrums and saw the horse I knew she could be. Her flatwork was lovely, and she jumped courses calmly and with ease. Towards the end of 2020, I started to feel confident again. At the last show of the season, we had a clear show jump round, as well as a clear cross country round. I was in tears coming through the finish flags. We had done it; onward and upward! 

I set some new goals for 2021: compete at a USEA-sanctioned horse trial at Beginner Novice, and move up to Novice in the fall. We came out of the winter in good shape, and things were all coming together, so I chose our first sanctioned Beginner Novice trial. 

We had an okay dressage test, and went double clear in our show jump and cross country rounds. The feeling I had walking back to the trailer was one of extreme emotion – we had overcome so many obstacles to get to where we were. I thanked my trainers for sticking with me each and every time I wanted to give up. That season, we completed both of our goals, all without any jump penalties at either level. That winter, we worked on improving our flatwork and rideability over fences.

Coming into 2022, we were in a really good place, and I was excited to kick off the season. 

When spring hit and we started schooling over fences though, something wasn’t right. Teagan began stopping again. The voice in the back of my head kept thinking something must be bothering her, but another voice made me unsure if it was behavioral. 

We tried working through it and entered our first event of the season. We had a good dressage test, but the jumping phases were making me nervous. I was the most scared I have been going into the show jump ring. I rode as confidently as I could, and we finished with a clear round. Onto the cross country phase we went, and entered the start box. 

I was borderline sick to my stomach with nerves. We made it over the first four questions with no problem. And then we got to fence five. Teagan stopped and the wheels started falling off, but I did not want to give up. I felt like I had something to prove to myself, when I should have listened to my horse. 

We cleared fence five on the third try; two fences later she stopped again. Again I should have listened to my horse. Instead, I listened to my ego and we jumped it on the second attempt. Three jumps later we had another stop. You would think by this point I would have taken the hint. I didn’t but we cleared it the second time. We got through the finish flags and I burst into tears, not only because I was frustrated but because I had met utter defeat. I was at the point that I was ready to throw in the towel. 

The voice in the back of my head kept getting louder, telling me something wasn’t right. Teagan would intermittently look and feel off. The hard part was that it was never consistent, and never showed up when I had the vet out. Finally, I was able to essentially make her lame enough to take her to the vet to get to the bottom of things. 

Well, I got my answer: something was very wrong. Teagan had strained both front collateral ligaments, had a small tear in her deep digital flexor tendon in the left front, and had very inflamed and angry coffin joints. 

Fortunately, the tear was minor. We gave her a month off, changed her shoeing, and reevaluated a month and a half later. The recheck showed that the tear had completely healed, and the shoeing changes had helped to alleviate the inflammation in her coffin joints. We injected both of her coffin joints and began the rehab process. 

When we were at the point in her rehab that we could start doing some canter work, her eye flared up. Over the years, she has had maybe four uveitis flare-ups, but they had never been like this one. This flare-up damaged her eye to the point that her pupil would not even react to stimuli. 

This was an unexpected blow; I was afraid we wouldn’t be able to come back from this one. I had a talk with my vet, and I knew it was time for her left eye to be removed. My vet was supportive, and I went ahead and made an appointment with our ophthalmologist. 

I went into the appointment mentally prepared to be told her eye did need to be removed, and I had packed grain for her, in case she had to stay at the hospital. We arrived for our appointment, and I filled the ophthalmologist in on what we had been dealing with. She agreed that the eye had been damaged and the pupil was non-reactive. She did say that Teagan could see some light going through, but that was it. 

At this point, I knew it was time and started to cry. I went out to call my trainer and my husband. When I went back in, we made the decision to remove her eye. I was an absolute emotional mess. Luckily, the ophthalmologist was able to do the surgery that day, so I stayed until she was done. Seeing Teagan bandaged up was very hard, but she was so strong and acted like it was just another day.

Teagan recovered like the champion that she is; she didn’t miss a beat. I was nervous riding her, as I had never ridden a horse with one eye, and I wasn’t sure if I had to ride her differently, and I struggled through the first few rides; Teagan was fine. 

We finished our 2022 season enjoying each other’s company, and we were even able to start jumping again. When I say jumping, I mean very small things, as I was not sure how she would be – she was perfect. 

That winter we spent time hacking in the woods and doing lots of groundwork. The groundwork was such a good learning experience for both of us. Teagan always knew where I was – even when I was on her blind side. Her easy adaptation to one-eyed life was a pretty incredible thing to watch. The plus side to all of this was that she was feeling the best she had ever felt. Looking back, I think her eye bothered her more than she let on. Once the eye was gone, she was so much more relaxed in her body. 

2023 definitely had its ups and downs. I decided that I was not going to event Teagan anymore. It was more important to me to keep Teagan in one piece, and I didn’t feel I had the confidence to pilot her effectively and keep both of us safe. My plan was to jump at home for fun, and focus on competing in dressage. My intention for the season was to do USDF-recognized dressage shows, as we had only ever done schooling shows. 

At the beginning of the winter, I noticed some strange bumps on Teagans back that I had never seen before. Some of them were big and some were small, but they didn’t seem to bother her. I didn’t think much of it, but still had my vet come check them out. We thought that they were eosinophilic granulomas, and started her on prednisolone. The bumps went away after a few weeks. 

Then, Teagan decided she didn’t want to eat hay or grain. We scoped her, and found that she had ulcers. We treated the ulcers, and rechecked her, and everything looked good. Her appetite waxed and waned for a few months though, and something was still not quite right, and she started to lose weight. We scoped again; she had new ulcers in places she hadn’t previously had them. We tried a different treatment and this seemed to help. 

A few months later, more bumps showed up on different areas of her body. None of them bothered her though, and they went away with prednisolone. I noticed that they were coming back quicker when we would wean her off the prednisolone. My vet and I had many conversations on what it could be. The only way to find out with certainty would be to biopsy them. We decided that we would do this at the end of the competition season, in case it caused things to get worse. In the meantime, we managed it on a low dose of prednisolone. Her weight still wasn’t great, but she started to eat better. 

We made our dressage-only debut doing Training Level Tests 2 and 3 at a couple of schooling shows, to dust off the cobwebs, then picked Bear Spot Foundation as our first USDF-recognized show. This was a really great show and we had a successful weekend. Our scores were okay, and we went home with some things to work on. 

We kept working away at Training Level for two more shows, and then gave First Level Test 1 a go. It went well and we continued to improve on the small things. As the season progressed, we moved on to First Level Test 2 and had even better results. Teagan and I were actually having fun playing in the sandbox! We continued to do First Level Tests 1 and 2 until August, when we earned a personal best in both tests at the Bear Spot Foundation Summer Show. I was in tears when I saw our scores; it was a flood of emotions because all I could think about was how far we had come.

After Bear Spot’s Summer Show, my vet and I decided to biopsy some of the bumps, as a large number had popped up. I was hopeful that it was not going to be anything major, but that’s not how things typically turn out for us. The results came back, and it was cancer; specifically cutaneous lymphoma. 

There have only been two other times that I have cried to the point of almost hyperventilating: when my father passed away and when I had to put my dog of over twelve years to sleep. How much can one person and one horse take? Devastated doesn’t even begin to describe the feelings that I experienced. 

Once I could talk about it without crying, my vet and I discussed the results, and she said that she thought I had many more years with Teagan. Cutaneous Lymphoma is not common, and there is not currently a lot of information on it. It is the best type of cancer you can hope for, I guess. 

Teagan and I did what we always do – we kept going. I was more motivated to do well and reach the goals I had set. We finished the season doing Second Level Test 1, and while it was not perfect by any means, we did it. We had the best season; we had so much fun while achieving some pretty cool things.

Because Teagan is Jockey Club registered, I was able to declare her for the Adequan®/USDF All-Breeds Awards program, and participate in the Thoroughbred Incentive Program (TIP) Performance Awards. I am pleased to note that we finished our 2023 season in third place Adult Amateur at First Level, fifth place in the open division at First Level, ninth place Adult Amateur at Training Level, and eleventh place at Training Level in the open division in the Jockey Club’s All-Breeds Awards standings; earned Teagan’s Training and First Level USDF Horse Performance Certificates; finished in fourteenth place in both the Training Level and First Level Adult Amateur New England Dressage Association (NEDA) Year- End Awards; were ninth in the nation in the Dressage Category of the TIP Awards, and were the TIP First Level East Division Champion!

If you have made it through reading this long story, my intention is to remind you that anything is possible – no matter what is thrown your way. I wanted to give up so many times, and I felt like Teagan deserved a better rider to show her to her full potential. I kept going because of the people in my “village”; the people who did not give up on us. My trainers, Jessica Iorio and Wendy Rigby, my friend and shoulder to cry on, Natalie Labouchere, and the vets who helped us, and are still helping us, through the next hurdle, Dr. Kate Echeverria and Dr. Alison Clode.